(Lion Moms- Are Singaporean moms setting up a new trend?)
A recent news item in Straits Times went viral where an English composition of a Primary1 student was debated for correct grammar. This is not the first time, earlier the 'Cheryl's birthday' question was also argued over its complexity. Besides hitting such headlines, the island always enters a state of frenzy when PSLE is around the corner. All these prove Singaporeans are very much involved in their kids upbringing and education. And the new generation mothers are fully aware and geared up to their call of duty.
The Clash of clans:
Call it a battle of elite minds with only two motives: 1) Better grades in schools 2) Keeping up with peers. From tuitions, enrichment courses to preparing for GEP, children are kept busy round the clock. Equally parents also break their backs to get through this maze. Families are willing to compromise their comforts only to enroll their kid into a top- ranked school they aimed for. So what drives the need for this societal constraint?
Mom: Finish your work, then you can play…
Child: huh
Mom: The Piano!
How our parenting differs:
In general, Asian style of parenting is way different from the west. It involves pure hard work, continuous practice, and discipline. For an outsider, this appears over-taxing. Mothers become tyrannical when dealing with their kids. There are strict rules that can never be ignored at all.
A Stanford article suggests that Asian children are mostly mollycoddled and interdependent with their parents. On the contrary, their western counterparts are very much independent. Good news: both the types settle down well. Yet, largely motivated by their parents, Asian kids do better when coping with difficulties. So does that mean Asian moms are superior?
Gambling on little minds:
In the book, Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell, the author convinces us with his notion that a '10,000-hour rule' is fair enough to make you an expert in your field. The Beatles he points out had spent an amassing play time of more than 10,000 hours before making their first hit album.
So it is neither magic nor an innate IQ. Only laborious efforts and self-mastery created the stereotypical academic success of the Asian students. But wait, nothing can be flawless. By giving less focus on emotional growth or individual creativity, we may churn out only educated robots. What if we make a room full of Einsteins but not a single Picasso? What if all our toiling efforts are only to teach our kids to be ‘kiasu’ like us?
Mom sends text to son:
"Did you finish your laundry?"
"Don't forget to turn off aircon."
"We are going to grandma's house."
"Dad and I talked, we are planning to get you a car next month."
"U are??? omg thanks, mom.", replies son.
"No, we are not, just wanted to check if you got my msgs.". Moms win!!!
Balancing the strive forward:
Yes, we all strive to create that proper environment for our children, help them build a stable life. But are we setting the right balance? Amy Chua, the writer behind the tiger mother concept, insists on her parent's technique of using threats and punishments as the only solution to train her own children. Every kid is unique. And so what worked for Amy Chua might not work for your kid or mine.
As moms, our intentions are fairly good but it doesn't necessitate we follow the same old tactics our parents deployed. Being a mom is a gift and a credit by itself and your kid’s achievements is not the yardstick to determine if you are a better parent or not. what matters most is the life and bond we share with each other. Phew! It's time for my kid's homework, catch you soon.
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