The Walk Of Shame: By An Indian

Doing my part as a writer, feminist and a mother. With the whole world watching the recent video 'India's Daughter' that went viral online, I couldn't stop reacting nor bear to see fully. And we are now left with millions of conservative families worrying about what happens next. The truth is only a few percent of these crimes gets reported and hyped in the media. And there are many cases that go unreported under the cover of money, class or family honor. How long do we blame the government for inaction by comparing with other nations? Why not prevent the crime than expect capital punishment? How can you as a woman stop yourself being the victim? I know it is not our fault but when left in the wild, our only choice is to escape the hunt.

The Ashamed India:

In the past, I was one among the offended lot, when non-Indians perceived my country as a land of palaces, snake charmers, and peacocks. In reality, even I haven't seen many of these here. Now with the growing hatreds around the world, admonishing us as a land of rapists, womanisers running a dummy democracy, I think the former version was much better. Truly every Indian is ashamed of the current plight of this country that raised him/her with moral values and broadmindedness. A few lucky ones are those that are nestled in a safe foreign country where one can travel at odd hours and not worry much about safety. But that does not mean our duty stops there. We can't let the future assume our birthplace to be tainted with assault, grief and insults.

Pity the Innocents:

It is true we face some kind of gender bias, Isn't it universal too? However, no one has rights to dictate another person's life and your gender doesn't qualify you to judge or control the other. In an era of growing advancements in every field, why don't people mind their own businesses? I wear and prefer jeans to saris because my work and time are more important to me than taking care of pleats and pallus. It is only natural for any living organism to adapt to its environment. So why are there people bashing the victims stating inappropriate attires and reckless behaviour but letting the culprits go crime-free? There is no room for karma, and this delayed justice is only adding more fuel to the afflicted lives. It means only one thing: the traps are set, hunters are armed and tomorrow the prey can be us too:(

Spare the Martians:

After endless exposure to the serial happenings of such incidents, I thought only females of my community are in peril. But no, there are a lot many pristine souls accused of their uncommitted sins. They are the Indian men like fathers, husbands, partners, cousins and friends who are facing contemptuous looks and callous glares from other women and non-Indians globally. Can they go and tell everyone, "Look I am not like that" or "Trust me, not all men are". We have crimes everywhere. I don't look at that American who chatters with me and my kid with doubts or let my mind think, "Will he be a psycho with arms or a paedophile?". So why can't others stop inflicting more shame to my innocent countrymen? Yes, the stalkers have to be punished and yes our system has holes but no, we are all not sexists or rapists. 

Time For Action:

The media keeps blaring its coverage to hike its TRP ratings and after a few months goes silent as a corpse. Nothing can change with these sensational headlines. A real transition can happen only when we the people take the step. So what can we really do? 

1) Educate: Literacy is important for any civilization. Only schools can nurture a matured attitude and teach the young to handle their behaviours and inhibitions. Do you think restricting boys to not talk to girls or force the ladies to follow rules can keep the law in order? Never, and it further provokes the narrow-minded ones to take the extreme steps. Only the government and media should initiate an awareness campaign among the men to change their notions about their counterparts.

2) Neutrality: Not just the internet, even genders need neutral treatment. That starts from our family. This society has been glorifyin men as they carry the family name and demeans the woman as someone to be ridden of. Treat us equally with respect and make us feel proud of what we are. Do not emphasise your little one to get more fair, learn to cook or get equipped for the marriage market.  The roles are equal. Your kids should learn the art of living independently and that means your son should be able to make phulkas and your daughter fix a faulty motor.

3) Item Song: From Bollywood to Kollywood, any movie has an item song. Do we really need that crap? The scantily clad heroines are not just entertaining, but they are sending strong messages to the Indian society that it's okay to be showcased as dolled up objects to please men. Romance and relationships are pointless when all that a movie can say is, " When SRK is an anti-hero and kidnaps the girl, he can still be her husband". Practically is this possible? Hope the future Indian cinema bans such dumb portrayals.

4) Oh my God: Indeed Gods are our saviours and the guiding light. With due regard, these religious groups should stop using His name to enforce ludicrous codes of ethics. If God had really been there, he could have saved all my Draupadi's from such ugly hazards. So keep your religion to yourself.  Let it first clean your souls before preaching to others.

5) Fight or Flight: Last and the important one. You can be stalked and you must be prepared. Every woman must learn a self-defense method. It can be karate, taekwondo or just using your instincts. Try to move in groups and be conscious of your surroundings. Always stay connected and well-informed with your dear ones. From smart apps to security gadgets, protect yourself wherever you go. When attacked with less to defend, choose the option of running away and escaping for safety.

All the whole, it will still take a patient wait for us to prove the Gandhian quote ‘the day a woman can walk freely at midnight on the roads, that day we can say that India achieved independence.’ Some day we hope it stays true in our motherland and bring hopeful smiles on all faces. Stop the evil, Save the daughters of Mother India!